In a Different Voice

While reading In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan, I could not help but think about the movie As Good as it Gets. Jack Nicholson’s character is asked how he writes about women so well and he responds “I take away reason and accountability”. Gilligan, in her book, describes men as logical beings who view themselves outside of their relationships. They believe that relationships are ‘replaceable’ and conserving their identity is of the utmost importance. I think the movie quote is funny. Women are always portrayed as crazy, irrational, illogical, and unreasonable. Gilligan points out that this is not the case. A woman’s development is largely based on her relationships with other people. She will form her own identity based on these relationships. The main concern is how others will feel—“on who is left out” (p.33). Men will most often think of themselves and their benefit before viewing how it will affect other; whereas, women think about others first and foremost.

I think this concept is most evident in chapter 4 of Gilligan’s book. She talks about the decision to have an abortion and how the decision has shaped some women. The most interesting thing I discovered through this research was that many of the women based their decisions on other people’s opinions or feelings. The women were faced with men that would leave them if they did not go through with it, and also the realization that unborn child’s care is more important than their own; thus, putting others before themselves. Many of them viewed abortion as selfish because they were thinking of themselves, but went through with it anyway because of the push from other people—they ignored their own thoughts. After the abortion many of them grew as people realizing their own identity and self worth. They began to view their choice as a responsible one, not only for them but their child too. They realized how unprepared they were and that the child would not benefit from the life they would be able to provide for them (many of the girls were teenagers realizing they would be on welfare). They began to take care of themselves and take responsibility for their choices—they did not blame anyone for what happened to them but themselves. Although this was not the case for every girl, in general, they grew up and discovered who they were and how their actions define them. Through their relationships, they were able to define their own identity and grow as people.

It is not that women are unreasonable or unaccountable; women simply think things through on a larger scale. They think of the world around them, the people around them before making a choice even if their own thoughts about the choice would be better for them. I am in a similar predicament right now. I initially told my boss at work that I would stay there and slow down my schooling because the store needed me. This ultimately would mean extending my schooling by a year, taking out another year of loans, and delaying the start of my career for a job that I do not wish to have forever. Once I realized that I was solely making this decision because of how my boss and others at work would view me, I woke up. I will typically put others before myself and this huge decision of delaying schooling for them at work was no exception. I think that I have grown up a little bit after realizing this.

Children of Immigration

               I have been taught to believe that immigrant parents do not care about their child’s education. I have witnessed numerous immigrant students not pass in papers or homework on time, and I have heard of parents pulling their children out of school for many months to go back home. Based on these observations, I have conditioned myself to believe that immigrant parents do not value education. My mother made sure I did my homework, and I only missed school because of an illness. She was an avid observer and participant in my schooling. I experienced my mother's involvement in my education throughout my life. Based on my experiences, I began to believe that this model was the correct one; however, after reading Carola and Marcelo Suarez-Orozco’s book, Children of Immigration, I realized that parental involvement in education can vary depending on cultural influences amongst other things. Immigrant parents take a more stand offish approach to their child’s education. They feel as if they should not have to “micromanage the schooling of their child”—the child’s education is his or her own responsibility (C & M Suarez-Orozco, 2001, p.149). Moreover, the parents do not want to second guess the teacher because they believe that he/she is in control of the child’s education as well as what goes on in his/her classroom. The parent may feel uncomfortable questioning the schooling and thus, appears to be uncaring and passive with regard to her child’s education as well. I was naïve to think that this meant education was not a priority because I learned that many immigrant students hold positive views about school and know how important education is to success. Despite the parent's apparent lack of involvement, however, they do make sure their children know how valuable a good education is.

There are many cultural differences that come into play when you consider an immigrant student’s education and the parents’ involvement in his/her schooling. It is necessary to understand these differences so to not fall into the stereotypes surrounding immigrant parents and their involvement in their child’s education. Ultimately, I need to grasp the idea that not all parents are going to be as involved in their child’s education as another, whether immigrant or not, but what happens in my classroom is up to me. Just because the parent is not as involved does not mean that he/she is unconcerned with the child’s education and continued success in life. We must consider the child’s life, the culture he/she lives in, whether the parents are working multiple jobs, and even what the parent’s view of school is: do they feel that the child is succeeding primarily because he/she is attending school, or do they feel like school is the child’s own responsibility? I have been shown that there are many factors influencing a parent’s involvement, and I cannot, as a future educator give in to negative stereotypes—I must learn about the individual and form my own thoughts through my interactions with him or her. This knowledge will help me when I begin to teach because it showed me to be open and to not judge the situation before I understand it fully.

Suarez-Orozco, C., & Suarez-Orozco M. (2001). Children of Immigration. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press. 149-150.