Moral supporters

I really connected with Susan Auerbach’s article Parents as Moral Supporters and Advocates (2007). While I was reading the section on moral supporters I could not help but think about my dad. Throughout my entire high school career my dad was by my side telling me about college. A lot like the father from a portrait of Jose on page 13, my dad would tell me I was smart. He would motivate me by using himself and his job as the motivator: “Tia, you don’t want to end up like me working third shift, breaking your back just to make ends meet. That’s why you need to get good grades and go to college. You want a better life for yourself. You don’t want to end up like me”. Many of our conversations about school and work still go like this today. He is the dad that is the supporter behind the scenes—he was very hands off when it came to the paperwork surrounding the college application process. He really didn’t know anything about college outside of knowing I needed to go to better myself. My dad never went to my school for college information or went to tours at colleges with me, and he most certainly had no idea what a FAFSA was. Most of the leg work was done by my mother who had been to college herself. My dad was primarily a moral and emotional supporter. I don’t think this was a bad thing. He gave me what I needed; he gave me an example of what life not to live, and that was motivation enough. He also let me make my own decisions, but made sure I knew what he thought about school. He supported and pushed for college, but he wasn’t involved in the selection process or paperwork. Although it would have been easier talking about school with him if he knew what was involved in the application process, my sisters and mother who had been to college were able to help me and were real advocators. They had knowledge about what I had to do and were able to help me figure everything out. I can see how one type of support is better or more valuable than the other, but both types are important.  

Abstinence: harmful or helpful?

   When did sex education become all about abstinence? I was not taught about abstinence in school, but rather shown pictures of grotesque STDs and videos of women giving birth. This was all the sex education I needed—those images have scarred me for life. I was taught the facts about having unprotected sex, being promiscuous, and the aftermath associated with both cases for men and women alike. Abstinence was not a subject that was talked much about because my health teachers knew that it did no good. They knew that teaching healthy sexuality and protection would benefit us the most. Unlike abstinence only until marriage (AOUM) programs, sex education classes are directed in a way that is more informational, not fear based. While I was reading Michelle Fine’s and Sara McClelland’s article Sexuality Education and Desire: Still Missing after all these Years I was shocked by the way AOUM is taught. The students are primarily told that if you have sex before marriage you will die—you will have sex and die. This is an outrageous claim. I also think the threat of impending doom makes them curious. Moreover, aren’t things more interesting when they are dangerous? Aren’t we more intrigued by things we are told not to do? I definitely think this is the case for the most part. Another thing about the AOUM program is that the students are lied to. They are lied to about the claim of death as well as non-marital sex always leading to disease and social problems. Like the article, I believe that teaching students about healthy adult sexuality is key. Lying to the students about death, disease, and other problems is cruel and wrong. Furthermore, AOUM programs are not proven to prevent sexual relations more than regular sex education classes. There is no use in lying to students about sex, it is much better to teach them about healthy sexuality and protection—teaching fear and lies is immoral.  

In a Different Voice

While reading In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan, I could not help but think about the movie As Good as it Gets. Jack Nicholson’s character is asked how he writes about women so well and he responds “I take away reason and accountability”. Gilligan, in her book, describes men as logical beings who view themselves outside of their relationships. They believe that relationships are ‘replaceable’ and conserving their identity is of the utmost importance. I think the movie quote is funny. Women are always portrayed as crazy, irrational, illogical, and unreasonable. Gilligan points out that this is not the case. A woman’s development is largely based on her relationships with other people. She will form her own identity based on these relationships. The main concern is how others will feel—“on who is left out” (p.33). Men will most often think of themselves and their benefit before viewing how it will affect other; whereas, women think about others first and foremost.

I think this concept is most evident in chapter 4 of Gilligan’s book. She talks about the decision to have an abortion and how the decision has shaped some women. The most interesting thing I discovered through this research was that many of the women based their decisions on other people’s opinions or feelings. The women were faced with men that would leave them if they did not go through with it, and also the realization that unborn child’s care is more important than their own; thus, putting others before themselves. Many of them viewed abortion as selfish because they were thinking of themselves, but went through with it anyway because of the push from other people—they ignored their own thoughts. After the abortion many of them grew as people realizing their own identity and self worth. They began to view their choice as a responsible one, not only for them but their child too. They realized how unprepared they were and that the child would not benefit from the life they would be able to provide for them (many of the girls were teenagers realizing they would be on welfare). They began to take care of themselves and take responsibility for their choices—they did not blame anyone for what happened to them but themselves. Although this was not the case for every girl, in general, they grew up and discovered who they were and how their actions define them. Through their relationships, they were able to define their own identity and grow as people.

It is not that women are unreasonable or unaccountable; women simply think things through on a larger scale. They think of the world around them, the people around them before making a choice even if their own thoughts about the choice would be better for them. I am in a similar predicament right now. I initially told my boss at work that I would stay there and slow down my schooling because the store needed me. This ultimately would mean extending my schooling by a year, taking out another year of loans, and delaying the start of my career for a job that I do not wish to have forever. Once I realized that I was solely making this decision because of how my boss and others at work would view me, I woke up. I will typically put others before myself and this huge decision of delaying schooling for them at work was no exception. I think that I have grown up a little bit after realizing this.

Children of Immigration

               I have been taught to believe that immigrant parents do not care about their child’s education. I have witnessed numerous immigrant students not pass in papers or homework on time, and I have heard of parents pulling their children out of school for many months to go back home. Based on these observations, I have conditioned myself to believe that immigrant parents do not value education. My mother made sure I did my homework, and I only missed school because of an illness. She was an avid observer and participant in my schooling. I experienced my mother's involvement in my education throughout my life. Based on my experiences, I began to believe that this model was the correct one; however, after reading Carola and Marcelo Suarez-Orozco’s book, Children of Immigration, I realized that parental involvement in education can vary depending on cultural influences amongst other things. Immigrant parents take a more stand offish approach to their child’s education. They feel as if they should not have to “micromanage the schooling of their child”—the child’s education is his or her own responsibility (C & M Suarez-Orozco, 2001, p.149). Moreover, the parents do not want to second guess the teacher because they believe that he/she is in control of the child’s education as well as what goes on in his/her classroom. The parent may feel uncomfortable questioning the schooling and thus, appears to be uncaring and passive with regard to her child’s education as well. I was naïve to think that this meant education was not a priority because I learned that many immigrant students hold positive views about school and know how important education is to success. Despite the parent's apparent lack of involvement, however, they do make sure their children know how valuable a good education is.

There are many cultural differences that come into play when you consider an immigrant student’s education and the parents’ involvement in his/her schooling. It is necessary to understand these differences so to not fall into the stereotypes surrounding immigrant parents and their involvement in their child’s education. Ultimately, I need to grasp the idea that not all parents are going to be as involved in their child’s education as another, whether immigrant or not, but what happens in my classroom is up to me. Just because the parent is not as involved does not mean that he/she is unconcerned with the child’s education and continued success in life. We must consider the child’s life, the culture he/she lives in, whether the parents are working multiple jobs, and even what the parent’s view of school is: do they feel that the child is succeeding primarily because he/she is attending school, or do they feel like school is the child’s own responsibility? I have been shown that there are many factors influencing a parent’s involvement, and I cannot, as a future educator give in to negative stereotypes—I must learn about the individual and form my own thoughts through my interactions with him or her. This knowledge will help me when I begin to teach because it showed me to be open and to not judge the situation before I understand it fully.

Suarez-Orozco, C., & Suarez-Orozco M. (2001). Children of Immigration. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press. 149-150.

Blog 1

Hello class! My name is Christia Ouellette, but just call me Tia. I just graduated from UML as an English major with a minor in psychology. I work full time as an assistant manager at American Eagle Outfitters. This is my first semester in the Master’s program for education. I am planning to graduate from the program next December, and I am looking forward to begin teaching soon after. Thanks. I hope you enjoy my blog!

Etta Hollins’ article, Relating Ethnic and Racial Identity Development to Teaching, opened my eyes to how some teachers feel that it is unnecessary to incorporate different cultures in their teaching even if some students would benefit and be able to connect to it. There are three different types of teaching, Type I, Type II, and Type II, and this article demonstrates how each type deals with cultural and ethnic differences amongst their students and the content they are teaching. Hollins (1999) points out how “individuals tend to dissociate themselves from their own ethnic or racial group in preference for association with the majority group” (p. 185). This is clearly not something that should happen. Every person should be proud and connected to who he/she is and where he/she comes from. Fitting in with the majority is not what it is important. Truly being able to be comfortable in your in skin is the ultimate goal.

            I think it is safe to say that being a Type I teacher is not ideal: “Teachers in Type I seem to prefer a particular model, process, or plan for teaching regardless of the background experiences, preferences, or competencies of the children they teach” (Hollins, 1999, p. 186). If a child from a different background cannot connect to the material, they will not learn. Likewise, if a teacher is unwilling to change the way she teaches to better suit her students’ needs, she will not grow and learn to be a better teacher. Also, Type I teachers feel that they need to teach the dominant culture or ‘American’ culture because “the ethnic pride resulting from multicultural education is divisive and should be resisted” (Hollins, 1999, p. 187). Despite this stance, Type I teachers also believe that the curriculum should be expanded to include different cultures. If this is not a contradiction of what Type I teachers previously said then I do not know what is. Most of what was revealed about how Type I teachers conduct a class and deal with culture that is not ‘American’ irritates me. How is it possible to captivate a classroom full of students if you are not engaging all of the students because of your refusal to teach them about topics that are related to them? It is essential when you teach to talk about relatable material, even if there is only a little time to touch upon it. Teaching material in a meaningful as well as applicable way is important.

            I would like to be a teacher that falls more in the category of Type III. I felt like these teachers were better-rounded and open to different cultures. They wanted to gain knowledge and incorporate the new material in meaningful ways into their classroom. It was clear, at the end of the article, that Type III teachers were the best kinds of teachers to emulate. They want to encourage students to learn with and learn from their peers, and I believe that is certainly one of the best ways to allow students to learn.  What I took from this article is that a teacher must be open to exploring new cultures because everything is relevant. Each student needs to be able to relate to the course in some way. A teacher must expand the curriculum so it does not solely revolve around the ‘dominant’ culture because this expansion will ultimately be beneficial to everyone in the classroom including the teacher.

Hollins, E.R. (1999). Relating ethnic and racial identity development to teaching. In R.H. Sheets and E.R. Hollins (Eds.), Racial and ethnic identity in school practices: Aspects of human development. Mahwah, N.J., L Erlbaum Associates, 183-193.